can't help but feeling

exploring fandom and doing my spazzing exercises :) hope to the end

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Kdrama Foodie

I think I've discovered the only blog I need to read for the rest of my life (besides this one, duh): Kdramafood


Where have you been all my life? All those times that I watched Coffee Prince and wanted to eat jajangmyeon and wipe the sauce with pickled daikon, every time I watched a variety show where they have a barbeque outdoors in the middle of winter, that awesome episode of Invincible Youth where they went to the Korean traditional preserved foods company and made the most epic bibimbap of all time... for me one of the central pleasures of watching Kdrama and K-variety shows are the food experiences that all the important moments revolve around. And now I've finally found a blog that shares my enthusiasm :D

Another favorite Korean tv food moment: Lee Yoonji's obsession with grilled sweet potatoes on We Got Married. SO DELICIOUS.

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Nunas Know Best



This blog Nuna Knows Best is absolutely hilarz and basically the blog I wish I was writing- not afraid to criticize Kpop's biggest acts when they're being lame, cooing over rookie boybands with scores of members, and generally telling it like it is. I'm too tied down by loyalty (DBSK I'm looking at you) and propriety (I'm starting to be at least five years older than most rookie idols) to kid around easily. I guess Nuna really does know best! Bless.

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Tomorrow will come



When the falling snow lands on my hand
It disappears without a trace
Because precious belongings are fragile
We cannot keep them forever, and it confuses us
Faraway, in a deep corner of the earth
Destiny brought us together
I want to express this miraculous feeling
With you
I'm unable to deliver a message to you
I've been living nervously, searching
Just searching for a light
As I begin to chase after it, I turn back, afraid of the outcome
I’ve stopped numerous times
Tears gather on my smiling face
This road that we shared
Is the only truth that remains
When the rains falls I will become your umbrella
When the wind blows I will become your wall
Even though the darkness overtakes the night
Tomorrow will come no matter what
The flowers that bloom in spring and the sandy shores of the summer
The fall sunrises and winter sunshine
As much as it is necessary, as much as needed, -
Courage lies where desires are present
Faraway, in a deep corner of the earth
I think of many memories
And want to call them my own
I want to deliver a message to you
I’ve stopped numerous times
Tears gather on my smiling face
This road that we shared
Will not disappear
When the rains falls I will become your umbrella
When the wind blows I will become your wall
Even though the darkness overtakes the night
Tomorrow will come no matter what
I want to deliver a message to you
Tomorrow will come no matter what


we love you

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Lavender Memories


Last week I watched a handful of Cantonese romantic (comedy) movies: Lavender, Every Dog has its Date, Bakery Amour, Undercover Love, Undercover Love 2 and Drink Drank Drunk. All of them were enjoyable if you like that kind of genre, which, clearly, I do.

But actually what I want to say is, in light of recent developments in my RL, I've been thinking about how I've been overly using internet and fandom and pop culture as a form of escape. Of course, it's made for entertainment and for escapism, but if I use it as active procrastination- not even from working per se but from THINKING, anyway, it's not fair for me and for the entertainers right? When I think back about the past ten months I can remember the different shows I watched, the different pop topics that I followed, and the times I cried and laughed with the movies and the shows and the idols. But somewhere I just started using these things to avoid my RL issues, luxury issues as they may be. And because of this I think I both enjoy the entertainment less and I make the problems worse. Do I want my life back? It was boring to begin with. In fandom, I really do care for the idols and the ideals, but I need to care for myself first.

I'll still be here, but I'll try to be less serious ;)

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[Trans] 100403 Bigeast mail – The boys will stop working as Tohoshinki


Even though there are roads that fans cannot walk with their idols... when Dong Bang Shin Ki had to leave Cassiopeia behind to begin again in Japan... when you need us, we will always be there for you.


After one year and seven months, Cassiopeia did not forget DBSK.
It doesn't matter how long fans have to wait. They will always be there.


Even though they will not work under the name Tohoshinki, as TVXQ or as DBSK, they will always BE Tohoshinki. Fans will not forget them. I will support all five as solo artists and I will wait for the day they will perform together again.

Always keep the faith!

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Please Stop Time

~ Miss these boys so much! Just before this video was released I was thinking about how sometimes, in the middle of all the magazine shoots and individual projects and schedule updates, I still LIKE Dong Bang Shin Ki but I forget why I LOVE them. And then a song, a performance, a video can bring back what this fandom and this loyalty and this gratitude is all about.



Toki wo Tomete — Please Stop Time

Like they are hurrying away, the summer’s constellations
Lean between the buildings and hide away
The days that pass us by
Sometimes, even little tiny things make me want to cry

That store that you said you wanted to go to so long ago
It’s already gone now, but
Every day, the two of us
We believed that our love would never end

I want to stop time, and stay next to you forever
I want to hold you even more
While remembering every single thing about you
I had faith in only forever

I want to stop time, and stay next to you forever
I look up at the sky, and wish with all my heart
One by one, I link together the glistening starts
And I ended up looking for the shape of you

I want to stop time, and stay next to you forever
I want to hold you even more
While remembering every single thing about you
I had faith in only forever

video via SharingYoochun, lyrics via DBSKnights

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Best Selection


Omo! I was so surprised by these pictures of Dong Bang Shin Ki from Non-no magazine. They worked with Ninagawa Mika again which is awesome because she's a world-renowned photographer (I love her work with Celine in 2007). It's great to see that everyone DBSK work with support them so much, on their blogs, and promoting them in other ways. They have so many blessings from their colleagues, which both raises their profile and shows us their true image. I love it!


Anyway... :)
The point with this article is the concept 'Best Selection' album and it's cool how different songs have been translated to each photo. Of course, my favorite is Yoochun's Begin. But I also love Yunjae's flower boys power, Changmin's new friend and Junsu's disco fever. Dong Bang fighting!

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Forever More

Sometimes I'll come across a performance that I just can't help listening to over and over again. When there are doubts and arguments about the validity of idol culture and the banality of fandom, there are songs like this that make us believers. At least, the fact that it moved me can't be denied.



Onew-sshi is my junior but I respect him so much.

God only knows, what a heart can survive

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Singers will never betray their fans.



If you support 2PM, you also have to support Jay.

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Still a Fan


I noticed this cute exchange on a Youtube video of 'Forever Love':

Marih94 (1 jaar geleden)
Who sings after JaeJoong in the beginning?

pyrogamer01 (1 jaar geleden)
That's Xiah Junsu.

Marih94 (1 jaar geleden)
Ok, thanks (:

crystal91pearl (3 weken geleden)
I wonder if you'll still ask that question now... You must be a huge fan after a whole year past... am I right?

Marih94 (3 weken geleden)
Yup.

♥ ♥ ♥

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Jaebeom come baaaack


I have to admit I didn't know or care too much about Jay's (temporary) absence from 2PM but now that I've reached episode 7 of Wild Bunny and discovered that episode 8 was not aired due to his departure, I'm like nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

The whole series was funny, but the final 'be a couch potato' challenge really speaks to me, lol. They even used a scene from Hotaru no Hikari to illustrate a 'couch potato'! How could I not love it.


I think the show is interesting because it expressly targets the meaning of being an idol, albeit in a tongue-in-cheek fashion, and it's so funny because even the staff are having a great time. The production team's support for Jay after he left suggests something of the type of guys 2PM are (becoming).

Until Jay comes back, let's keep supporting 2PM!

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We are the Future

I saw an interesting interview with Ray Kurzweil the futurologist where he discussed his different influences, among them the Beatles. He said it was noteworthy how 'the mob' had somehow chosen to be hysterical about a band that actually had the talent to be worth the hysteria. Now I wonder if DBSK is just the product of strong marketing but I think these last six years have proven that they transcend hype.

An intrigueing thing about fandom is the sheer force that is involved in it. How many girls and women (and, ok, men too) invest their energy into the following of the band and the production of fan material? How can we harness the collective exponential energy of these young women for good?!! I say it tongue-in-cheek, but I really do wonder...

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Faith can move Mountains

The two of us met by chance
I want to call it a miracle, this feeling


Even though I'm still following Dong Bang Shin Ki every day, watching them come through the airports home to Korea on Christmas just like last year, lately it doesn't feel the same as before. It's strange to say, but I think all the fans "miss" them.

I hope that 2010 will bring them together again. That they'll come through the airport all five. And we can see their true feeling of being DBSK on stage.



Happy 6th Anniversary to DBSK: Youngwoong Jaejoong, U-know Yunho, Micky Yoochun, Xiah Junsu and Choikang Changmin. Thank you!

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do




(a fan's love post)

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Girls on Top

Studying is kind of breaking my brain right now so a beautiful respite is welcome: here are two different girls, representing SM's ideals of the female idol if you will.

First up is Amber Lui from f(x), the kid famous for her tomboy style. I definitely love seeing the way their stylists keep trying to walk the line between feminine and masculine looks for her. This pic from a recent issue of Elle is one of her best expressing this duality.

I just wish that we could see her face more and that fangirls would not perv on her so much, although the hype is part of what makes her intrigueing. She's only 17 though! I don't like f(x), but I hope Amber will keep up her authentic-feeling persona. It's cool.

Go Ara (sweet name) is also only 19! Geez I feel old. From what I've seen of Heading To The Ground she's a good comedic actress and definitely not a newbie. She's got a classic look but with a surprising amount of allure, and memorable eyes.

Awesome banana hat, heh. Go Ara also did the beguiling spoken part at the beginning of DBSK's atmospheric Love Bye Love. Gotta keep an eye on these two girls...

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Fighting Spirit of the East


Screencap from a subbed video of DBSK on Star Show in 2008


When I first became a fan of Dong Bang Shin Ki I never realized that it would last so long and still be going strong one year from then. But here I am and my respect for the group has only grown in that time.

One of the things that has moved me the most about this fandom is the way that when I'm tired, or too busy, or just don't know the next step to take, thinking about DBSK's fighting spirit has helped me. Today I thought about the meaning of 'keeping the faith': I guess it should mean that we believe in ourselves to be loyal as fans, and the kind of people who are good in our own lives.

I'm a stressed medical student just like the author of Pretty Boy Power but she can articulate much better than me the fun and gift of fandom, just like all those fanblogs out there that laugh together. I love them ♥

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믿어요


I believe all five will stand on a stage together again.

DBSK and Cassiopeia are one: Dong Bang Shin Ki, please take the courage and the love from each one of us, and keep moving forward.

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5 - 1 = 0

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Tomorrow, certainly the sky will clear up, just like you are here with me.

This lawsuit issue with DBSK has reminded me of a piece I read by user 'kimtaitai' in a forum a long time ago. The earliest example of this writing (which is reposted on many blogs) I've found on AsianFanatics from 2006. It's a strong message from an H.O.T. fan to DBSK fans and one that shows us that the battle the band is fighting today is not just a recent one, but one that is relevant to the core of their existence as a band.

I've taken the liberty of rewriting it but please read the original piece if you have time.

Kimtaitai is member of clubH.O.T. and a H.O.T. fan. She felt H.O.T. and DBSK were very similar at debut, winning major awards in the year following and their fans were young girls/junior high students too. She expressed hope DBSK fans would be so loyal as H.O.T. fans even after years. As an important member of the H.O.T. official fanclub and knowing music industry insiders, she knew unfair treatment of the artists by SM Entertainment was true. Kimtaitai wanted to warn DBSK fans about how SM Entertainment treats artists and their fans badly.

"SM is honestly a dangerous place. As you like DBSK more I am sure that your hatred for SM will only grow"

H.O.T. members were punished physically, and when they split up, SM Entertainment not only boycotted JTL's independent activities by coercion of broadcasting companies but also didn't help Moon HeeJun promote his second album despite his first album sales of 600,000.

Kimtaitai asks the fans to buy artists' albums as the only way to help them. This is the only way in SM Entertainment's system to enable the artists to earn money.

"Whenever H.O.T albums came out, we fans bought AT LEAST 2 copies. That's the only reason whenever a new album came out they were able to surpass 1 million album sales. [...] H.O.T. boys... for every album they received approximiately 2 cents. [...] For five people if it's 2 cent, that means its not even a quarter cent per person. [...]
Any commercials, and any shows, anything, all that money goes to SM.
So its basically an unjust contract, a slave contract. We heard that the contract between DBSK and SM is immense, but thats not always a good thing. [...]
Do you think the term "slave contract" came out of nowhere??
DBSK right now...they are probably having a really hard time."

She also describes SM Entertainment's impossible contract termination fees and Lee SooMan's influence in SM Entertainment, becoming rich by illegal contracts and having a puppet president of the company on paper (Kim KyungWook). Even H.O.T.'s former manager tried to get them out of SM Entertainment.

"We raised SM and then we were stepped on by SM and died."

The money earned from H.O.T. was reinvested into the company (developing BoA) while H.O.T., along with their record-breaking fanclub, were ignored and left behind.

"All of you will get older with DBSK. We were the same. We used to say that "we're aging together," and these days those words sound so sad.
As time goes feelings will be stronger, and we sincerely hope that DBSK doesn't endure the same scars from SM, as H.O.T. had. Don't take the same hurt as we did. Within DBSK, create an awesome fan culture. With every childless statement, the fan image is slowly ruined. Become fans that think about what you say, when announcing you are their fans. Don't ever be faltered by any rumors, and always trust the member.

Singers will never betray their fans.

Please don't do things that they don't like. You shouldn't ever make your favorite singer feel disappointed in you. If you are going to believe this and that, or just move on to someone else, then don't like them from the start. It will only be scars upon that singer/group. As you grow older, even if you find a boyfriend don't ever forget that you are DBSK fans. At first it may just be a fantasy for you but as time passes and as you grow older you will realize that they mean a lot more to you than you know. In your heart, you will never forget your younger days when you were their fans...
Please make sure it is only memories that you will not regret... "

Cassiopeia fighting!

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Stand By U

It's a tense time for Dong Bang Shin Ki fans and certainly for Dong Bang Shin Ki. Whatever happens, I hope they talk to EACH OTHER. In the end, it's what THEY dream of achieving for and as Dong Bang Shin Ki TOGETHER that should be the deciding factor, not SME's "vision" for them. SME is good with words, but Dong Bang Shin Ki was made from the members' spirits.

I'm keeping the faith for all five of them.

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Ray of Light

Just the other day I took notice of Dong Bang Shin Ki's regular feature in the Japanese Ray magazine and I love the way they are styled and shot in this series. There's a definite Japanese feel in their clothes but not in that awkward way they sometimes end up in for shoots. It's a casual and neat look, misleadingly simple- the combination of the five member's outfits is very sophisticated.

This blue picture has a great aesthetic- everything just comes together, including their irregular composition. Looks good! (Jun-chaaaan has a good forehead.)

So much plaid in these outfits, but it doesn't get hackneyed. (I think some of the other members have worn this black sweater on Changmin in other photo shoots.)

You know, I like reading criticisms of Kpop and Jpop culture to try and get a bigger picture sometimes, and one website I read recently told me a lot about the generic young Japanese OL demographic of magazines such as CanCam and Ray, mourning their promotion of bland lifestyles. I don't even know how that ties in here except that I just want to say, sometimes I can really identify with the normal need to fit into a corporate and ordinary life. These are real pressures. I like this regular Ray magazine style. It's not trying so hard, and in this case, maybe it brings DBSK closer. You remember how their dreams mean the same to them as yours do to you.

Jun-chan's sweater and scarf set in this next photo is so sweet. Endlessly Sweet.

All photos via DBSKnights.

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